Nov 30, 2010

My Goal: Losing Weight

I need to lose weight.  I need to be healthier for my son and husband.  I want to live longer.  I want to enjoy having my photo taken again.  It dismays me to see what I look like.  I wish I could take the weight off as fast as I put it on. What is far worse than seeing myself is knowing that I let myself get this big.  No one else is responsible.  It was all me.  My mom didn't force feed me.  There were 6 other siblings.  I am the largest in my family, except my dad.   I wasn't an overweight child.  In fact, I was thin.  I lived in the south and my siblings and I were outside playing almost all the time.  Then when I was 7, I moved to New York State.  Half of the year it is too cold to go outside, at least for me.  From October to March, I may as well hibernate.  I don't go outside unless I absolutely have to.  That has to change.  I have a membership to the local YMCA.  They exercise facilities are spacious with newer equipment. 

 (above, 7 yrs. old)
(below, 11 yrs old)

I lay in bed at night thinking about how I can change my diet and begin exercising.  I plan on the day I can run a 5k.  Right now, I cannot even run 1/12th of a mile without feeling like my heart is going to beat out of my chest.  I haven't gained weight in 8 years, which is impressive.  I haven't lost either.  When my son was young and we lived on Cape Cod, I use to walk with him every day.  Then I moved back to New York State.  Last year I did a 10 week group exercise challenge with my family.  I lost 18 lbs.  Then a jerk lady ran into the car I was in resulting in back spasms and sprained shoulder that have left me in pain for almost a year.  However, I need to stop making excuses and just find what exercises I can do.

(left, 23 yrs old, right before finding out I was pregnant) (right, 23 yrs old, 8 months pregnant)

In 5th grade, I can remember being under 100.  I think I was 86 lbs.  I can remember in 6th grade when the nurse told me I was 111 lbs.  I wasn't thrilled about being over 100.  However, I don't remember looking fat. By 7th grade, I was 154 lbs and I looked fat.  That is when children started picking on me. I graduated High School at 204 lbs.  I can remember promising myself I would get back under 200, which I did in College in 1996.  By 1998, 5 years out of high school, I got pregnant.  I was 220 when I got pregnant and I can remember the doctor telling me I couldn't gain more than 15 lbs.  Well, I had my son at 254 pounds.  (I have never been good at following doctors orders) I stayed right around 254 until my son was 2 years old.  By the time my son was 3, I got up to 297.  There wasn't any way I was going to go over 300, and that is when I changed my diet... 8 years ago  I joined Weight Watchers.  It was a great plan for me because I could still eat whatever I wanted, but had to keep track of my points.  I couldn't afford the program anymore, so I stopped going to the weigh-ins. The lowest I have got since then is 270.  I have never went back above 290, but I keep bouncing between 270 and 289. 

This time, I actually plan on exercising for at least half an hour to start.  I figure I need to start slow.  I mainly live a sedentary life.  Sitting on the couch on my laptop and getting up as needed.  I am only 35, but if I want to live a longer life, I better start doing something.  I live with back pain from a car accident that herniated some discs, others are slipped discs.  After exercising daily for a month, I will bring my workouts up to 45 minutes, then another month I will get up to the hour mark. 

Another reason I want to lose weight is because my husband is diabetic.  I don't want to get diabetes, so I need to do something about it.  One of my friends, who is 42 and weighs the same as I do, has heart problems.  She actually had to get a gastric bypass to save her life.  I watched The Biggest Loser and know that people like me can lose the weight naturally.  I would LOVE to be on The Biggest Loser, but until that time, perhaps I should try to lose weight myself. 

(left, 33 yrs old) (right, most recent picture, 35 yrs old)

I hope by blogging about my weight issues and having other people read my weight goals will help me keep to the plan.  I would be ELATED to lose a pound a week.  That would get me under the morbidly obese mark by 20 wks.  Yes, it would be great to be  The goal I would love to get to first is my weight after I had my son-254.  That would mean I would need to lose 26 pounds.  If I could lose one pound a week, I will be to my goal in 6 months- May 30th.  That is one day after my sons 12th birthday.   When I get to my goal, I will have a great giveaway... that will be your reward!  My reward will be losing the weight, plus getting three new outfits. (Hopefully I can lose a couple breast sizes as well). I know I can do it!

Does anyone else want to join with me in losing weight?  That way we can be accountable to each other.  It is always easier losing weight with other people.


  1. Good luck with your goal, you know you can do it if it's really what you want, it all comes down to that I think! It's so hard to lose weight but you can do it!

  2. I read your story and all I can say is WOW! I can so relate.
    I would love to do this with you. Please email me. I have recently started a program that has got me excited about becoming healthy and it is working for me unlike any other plan I have tried in my life.
    I look forward to hearing from you!
    To your success!